Friday's Five

{A secret garden on a mansion's grounds that hosted a friend's wedding last weekend}

I'm not sure I have ever been so happy for a week to end. 

I am so excited for this weekend, as my brother's best childhood friend

is visiting from Texas, which promises a great deal of debauchery. 

We haven't seen him in a year, and are already swearing to go visit in January...

You know, when it's freezing here and a cool 65 degrees there. 

Tomorrow night all of my coworkers are going out to a local pub

to unwind and get food together after a massively stressful work week. 

I cannot wait. 

{Monty: the stray I found caught in vines. The brother has adopted him}

{Talk about a stress reliever and an adrenaline rush}

{Cracked and peeling, the wear didn't detract from its beauty}

{International Space Station or the moon... Is that really a tough choice?}

Breakdown in a Parking Lot

Earlier this week I had a breakdown in a parking lot. No, my car wasn't acting up. I had missed a doctor's appointment for my dad by a good five hours. 

Two weeks ago my brother and I moved our dad into an assisted living facility. It's nice in that it's not at all like a hospital, but on the downside
there is not a doctor on-hand 24-7. 

This week we had five different appointments on four separate days. Tuesday we had two appointments scheduled: primary care and wound care. 

My work schedule was increased this week but I picked up three of the appointments. In the morning I hurriedly submitted all of my articles to make deadline before rushing out the door by noon. That would give me enough time to get the facility, get dad changed, transferred into the car and on the road. 

Since the stroke dad has not been the most talkative. It's like pulling teeth to get him to say anything more than "yes," "no," or indistinct grunts. The 45 minute car ride was filled with a lot of that. 

At one point I tried to get him to do some exercises we learned in physical therapy for his left hand, which is clenched in a fist, but he became so angry that he yelled in refusal. Silence ensued following his outburst. 

We arrive to the PCP office, who we were seeing for a pretty severe rash that is covering a good portion of his body. I transfer him to his wheelchair, haphazardly get him into the office and go to sign him in for his 2 p.m. appointment.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear. His appointment was at 9 this morning," said the receptionist. 

"You're kidding me," I respond, in complete shock. 

"No, I'm so sorry. But I can try and reschedule for the next available opening."

We reschedule for next week, as I fight back tears. 

I took him back to the car, silently crying and transferred him into the front seat. While disassembling his chair for the trunk I shriveled to the ground and sat.
I called my brother and cried.

There have been very few times when I have cried in such a way... the kind of cry where it's so deep you convulse and aren't sure if it'll ever stop. I did that when I saw my dad immediately after his heart surgery, when we found out he had a stroke, when my cat died. Apparently missing a doctor's appointment is on par with those. 

After a good 15 minutes of talking to my brother,
I pulled myself together and went back into the car. 

We took a trip to Wawa where I got us something cold to drink. While sitting there I looked back on the past seven months and realized that
I have cried in a lot of places lately. 

Last week I cried in the office supply isle of a Walmart. I've cried in my car too emotionally wrought to go inside to visit my dad. I've cried at a baseball game, in the post office, at the farmer's market, at the mechanic's. It's been rough. 

I suppose what I took away from all of this was that I can't do everything. This situation has been extremely trying physically, mentally, financially, emotionally—you name it. 

I just need to take some time every once in a while to sit in a parking lot,
 and just breathe. 

Friday's Five... Five Months Later

{The stunningly beautiful Johns Hopkins Hospital}

It has been a while, to say the least.

The reason there has been radio silence on my end is, well, my father had a few strokes in January. 

It's been a rough year.  

We have been in three different hospitals, six different times and three different rehab facilities five different times, and we're preparing to move a sixth time.
The experience has been eye-opening, humbling and isolating. In the weeks to come I will do my best to share the experiences I've had these last months--not only for my own personal therapy of sorts, but to also hopefully reach out to others who are or have been in similar circumstances.


In light of celebrating Father's Day two weeks ago
I'd like to share the article I wrote, that was published in my newspaper.

------------------------------------------

In my life I’ve celebrated 25 Father’s Days, but this year’s will be the first of its kind.

This weekend, my brother and I will be spending Father’s Day finalizing moving my father’s belongings out of his home, as he is no longer able to live on his own.

Back in January, my father had a number of heart attacks, which led to him having to undergo quadruple bypass surgery. Due to complications following the surgery, he had a stroke — well, four, actually. Since then, every day has been Father’s Day.

It’s funny how one single event can change your life completely. Although my brain didn’t have a stroke, I’ve been affected indirectly because of it.

My father’s right-hemisphere strokes have caused him to have paralysis on his left side, to the point where he is unable to walk and care for himself. He now has permanent partial blindness, known as hemianopia, which has impacted his ability to read and write. He also has comprehension issues, and his personality has changed.

Because of the severity of this, our roles have now been reversed. My brother and I have now become parents to him. We pay bills, schedule doctor appointments, help him bathe — you name it. We try to have him eat healthy meals and try to comfort him when he’s down. We cried during his first haircut and his first assisted steps since the strokes.

We’re the advocates for his health and wellbeing, just as he was for us when we were young. All we want to do is protect him and help him get better. It seemed daunting at first, but we’ve come to embrace it.

It hasn’t been an easy road, but, throughout the journey, he has been teaching us along the way. My brother and I have learned how to be patient, how to be assertive. We’ve learned how to ask for help and when to say no. We’ve experienced overwhelming support and love from family, friends and strangers that we didn’t expect. And, from all of that, we’ve grown.

Through his struggles, my father has helped me grow over these last few months, and for that I am grateful. I now know what my true priorities are.

Whether he knows it or not, my father has shown me that life is precious and fleeting, and therefore we should treasure every moment — not waste our time sweating the small stuff.

The greatest gift he’s given us is unconditional love. It’s his love for me and my brother that has made us who we are today. We are stronger, more self-assured than ever before. We know because of this experience that we can get through anything. And I hope our love has done the same for him.

I never expected to have to deal with something like this, at least in this stage of my life. I’ve always looked at my parents as invincible, all-knowing beings, and now I know they are not immortal.

We all have things going on in our lives — difficulties, stresses, trials and tribulations. But this Sunday, we should take a step back and be thankful for the little things that make our fathers special.

Although the future is unclear for us, as he may never be able to live on his own or work again, it doesn’t matter… Not really. What matters is that we can take the time to truly appreciate him as a person and as the father who will never stop teaching us how to endure and, most importantly, how to love.

-------

December Recap

December was such a busy month. It seems like as soon as Thanksgiving hits,

it's already the new year... And wouldn't you know it, it's already January 4.

Since I was completely missing in action for the entire month,

I'll give a brief December Review through some photo documentation.

{My favorite seasonal drink, and by far the best Egg Nog produced}

{Norman-the pup I watched before his Christmas morning reveal to my bestie}

{Traveling through the Bay Bridge Tunnel headed to Camp LeJeune}

{We had a work luncheon celebration on 12-12-12 at 12:12}

{Brown paper packages wrapped up under the tree}

{Enjoying an afternoon fire with friends who returned from Haiti for the holiday}

{Empty manger from a living nativity}

{My Chanel loot from Christmas}

{Spending New Year's Eve with friends was the best way to ring in 2013}

Friday's Five

It's been a great week, full of sickness and shopping. 

I got to visit my newly married bestie and get a little early Christmas shopping done. 

Tonight we're seeing the Washington National Opera and enjoying cocktails after.

Saturday will be filled with fundraisers and maybe Christmas trees. 

I can't wait! 

{Everyone at work is sick, and so am I}

{Tis the season to write to Santa}

{Thwarted dreams... $550 mil would've been nice}

{My new perfume, all the way from Iowa}

{Awesome patterned scarf from Target}

Friday's Five

{Watching my alma mater get crushed by Villanova}

This has been a busy week, but great. Our trip out to Iowa was every eventful, but more on that later.
I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving.

{The beau and I went to Iron Hill Brewery and enjoyed good food and good brews}

{Hanukkah rubber duckies at the Five and Dime}

{My latest read, perfect for the Thanksgiving holiday} 

{A windmill in Iowa decorated for Christmas}

Thanksgiving for Thousands

Earlier this week I was fortunate enough to cover and participate in an event called Thanksgiving for Thousands. 

The event is sponsored by Mountaire Farms, a local business that has tried to feed those in need for close to 20 years at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.

Having originally started off as a small church event being held in a parking lot,

it has grow substantially, which is bittersweet. 

Hundreds of people of all ages and social classes from all over the peninsula showed up to pack Thanksgiving dinner boxes that will be distributed to 60,000 families who wouldn't otherwise have a holiday meal. 

{Boxes waiting to be packed with canned goods and roaster}

{Roasters being distributed}

{Some of the thousands of cans being distributed}

{Dinner boxes piled high waiting to be loaded onto trucks}

{A bird's eye view of the assembly lines}

One woman I spoke to during the event said that a number of years ago she was on the receiving end of a Thanksgiving for Thousands Thanksgiving dinner box. Things have since improved for her, but she volunteers every year to help pay back the help the dinners and community gave to her. 

Whatever you have, little or great, be thankful and pay it forward. 

Happy Thanksgiving.